During our goal planning session, disscussed on this post, Uriah and I decided we need to make a few changes; to work on our business instead of just in our business. This particular goal has several subsets of tasks related to it, one of which is hiring an intern, and another is devoting time to learning. Thanks to this handy app, Audible, we can “read” on the go! A perfect compromise for busy business owners. This month’s book is on Negotiating.

Key Points On Negotiating

If there’s anything I walked away with after reading this book by Chris Voss, it is this: there is power in listening. Voss was the lead hostage negotiator for the FBI for many years and in his book he shares many thoughts and proven methods which can be beneficial for achieving both business and personal goals. 

Here are a few key points from the book:

  • Despite what we want to think, life is a negotiation. Whether arguing with a toddler, or attempting to get a raise. It is a skill that everyone can benefit from.

“Life is a negotiation.”

  • We are all flawed and emotionally driven – which puts us on an equal playing field.

“Without a deep understanding of human psychology, without the acceptance that we are all crazy, irrational, impulsive, emotionally-driven animals, all the raw intelligence and mathematical logic in the world is little help in negotiating.”

  • Be a problem solver.

Separate the person and the emotion. Develop a joint problem-solving mindset.

  • We all have fears. 

We are “always acting and reacting; first and foremost, from our deeply held, but mostly invisible and incoherent fears, needs, perceptions, and desires.”

  • Life skill: be real.

“Fake niceness is death to a good negotiation. Be authentic”

  • If your counterpart walks away feeling cheated, you have lost.

… and the last but most important point:

  • Listen. People want to be understood: to be heard.

“Listening is the cheapest and #1 concession you can make.”

Sometimes, when thinking of negotiating, I sort of picture the sly used-car salesman in my head saying “Let’s make a deal”. In reality, it doesn’t have to be that way. If we can use the skills of active listening and empathy, we are actually better for it and so is your counterpart. 

We hope our review of this great book was beneficial. Please leave your thoughts below! We’d love to hear from you!

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